| Approaches To Intimate Communication For Parents and Teachers |
 |
|
1. Observe and describe your own feelings. It is very useful to attempt to describe what we see as we learn to observe ourselves. This month, in a journal, diary, or notebook reserved for this purpose, try to write about the moods and feelings you have experienced during the day. Describe how you felt and why you felt that way. It is through describing our feelings that we understand and control them. Describing feelings somehow captures them and removes the worry, rendering them helpless to hurt us. 2. As you continue the habit of asking "How do you feel?" make it a specific rather than a general question. Parents and educators, during this month be aware of how often you ask a child how he/she feels. But make the questions more specific such as, "How do you feel when I call on you in class?" Or, "How did you feel when I picked you up at five on Friday?" 3. Form the parallel habit of telling others how you feel. The words I feel have a way of opening up a high trust level in a conversation. They also allow their user to say what is in his/her mind without judging or offending the other person such as "I feel upset and worried when I have no idea where you are." This kind of expression breeds concern and maximizes people's inclination to apologize and improve their own communication. 4. Discover real feelings instead of scheming to overcome undesirable actions. Sometimes our biggest problem in dealing with children is that we forget to communicate the feelings beyond their behaviour, focusing instead on trying to manipulate behaviour. If we communicate the feelings, we can keep communication lines open and children will learn to understand each other's feelings. This can keep children from misbehaving. 5. Give the incredible gift of a well-conceived compliment. Some of the most vivid and valued childhood memories are of simple compliments. When you give a compliment: (a) be sure it is completely honest; (b) make it as specific as possible; and (c) get as much eye contact as possible with the person so you can say it with your eyes as well as with your voice. 6. Be honest. Honesty and openness are very disarming; they take down the other person's defences and encourage him/her to talk and respond to you in a way that is equally honest and thus very revealing of his/her truest and innermost feelings. Complete honesty means not exaggerating; It means saying what you really think rather than what's expected. And it also means taking down facades and artificial images. (Eyre, 1996). Reference: Eyre, Linda & Richard (1995).
Teaching your children sensitivity. Communicating What We Feel, 21,184204. |
Quote For Thought!
| "What we are all striving for is authenticity; a spirit to spirit connection. This requires difficult emotional work." |